Uncanny Changes

(Source: boxfullogifs)

Rivals since high school David and Richard competed over everything, with Halloween being one of their biggest conflicts.

Ten years after graduation this was not only still the case, but even worse than ever.

When Richard found out about an alleged group of real alchemists having a shop in a dilapidated part of downtown Birmingham otherwise mostly made up of empty buildings he didn’t care if it sounded like hokum, he was there with cash in one hand and their flier reading “We will give you the most unique look for Halloween you have ever had guaranteed or your money back. Come in now for 30% off!” in the other.

Richard entered the shop at Noon. And even though the place was shabby, with it appearing that the ‘alchemists” were living in an old red repurposed city bus converted into a mobile home he still brought their Complete Halloween Transformation Package.

At a little after three, Richard left amazed and very changed. “This feels real!” said Richard “it is real,” said the head alchemist “but don’t worry we can put you back together as yourself, as long as you’re back here before thirty hours have passed otherwise you are that way for keeps.” Richard left knowing he would wow everyone at the big Halloween party. “In your face David!” Thought Richard as she walked down the street learning to navigate the uneven sidewalk in heels.

He knew David would never be able to come up with something as good as what he had, had done.

At four o’clock David showed up at the same shop with the same flier and even more money in hand.

Unlike Richard he opted for the Deluxe Complete Halloween Transformation Package, it was like Richard’s, only it resulted in David being turned into a beautiful woman famous for being well known.

The same warning was given to Dave, who left after calling an Uber and giving the fellow quite a thrill as she headed to the site of where the big Halloween party was set to start at seven.

That’s where things became undone for the both of them, having been out for so long while they were being changed neither had paid attention to the news that hurricane Roger had both climbed to a level four and turned right from a destructive path up the Mississippi and was headed straight for the Magic City. Not only was the big Halloween bash called off, but the city was also shutting down and locking up.

Nothing could move, and neither could David and Richard. The storm hit and they were forced to take shelter.

Thirty-four hours later two very attractive worried women found themselves back at the alchemist’s shop, it had been flooded out.

The red bus they were living in had left for parts unknown. Dave and Richard, at last, forgot about their rivalry, they had bigger things to worry about.

A year later the two women ran into each other just days before Halloween, the stress of their new selves had taken its toll.

Richard had gained at least fifty pounds while David had found keeping up appearances worthy of Dita von Tesse more than she was ready for.

“But you have to admit I would have won!” said David almost getting some of the old spark back “Sure, you go, girl,” replied Richard not really wanting to start all that again.

Norman Woolridge had heard that “reading changes you” and he believed it, as far as that went.

However, after an odd mishap led to him being locked in a feminist bookstore over a three day weekend Monday found a Ms Woolridge who could testify that indeed reading DOES change you!

Close your eyes and make a wish.

New innovative super tech company Rehabilitation Transmogrification Inc., whose motto is “A new you means a new life,” Had already tried their cutting-edge tech designed to modify the human body to make people taller, thinner, younger and much better not in months but in days.

The main idea being that a better-looking younger you would make even the worst among us better.

Their first try had not gone so well when they turned a sixty-year-old “reformed” Russian mobster into a twenty-something young thing, while also accidentally turning him into an attractive woman.

Far from being even more reformed, this had led to her starting a criminal organization made up of ballerinas made out of other men she “recruited” with their stolen method.

Oops!

Rehabilitation Transmogrification Inc. was ready to try again.

They were mostly pretty much sure; all the previous mistakes had been fixed.

Moreover, they had a much more benign test subject for improvement via “reyouthing”

Lutheran minister Atwood James Blackwell main flaw was since the death of his wife eight years earlier he had become increasingly gruff, and grumpy, and well kind of dark.

So they gave him the new improved process and it worked!

For a few days, at least he was a young man again, then, as before, turned into a young woman… and a young woman who looked familiar.

The glitch this time it seemed had come from their getting some of the blood DNA they needed by buying it from a firm that had had a celebrity blood drive at one point.

Still, the pastor adjusted fairly well to the change and they turned her loose. True she had started dressing darker than he had before but… “Those guys dress like right?” they decided.  Hoping for the best, and then quickly lost track of her.

Ten months later a very different Atwood James Blackwell showed up at the laboratory, only now she called herself Astrid Jamesia Blackwing, but she was back in the ministry, well a ministry.

It seemed she had started something called The Shrine of the Sisters of the Dancing Star Crusted Shadows Amalgamated.

But hey, she was active and working again, seemed to be taking an interest in things and that’s what mattered thought the techs.

Astrid had come to them because she was afraid what they had done to her was coming undone, some things were just not working as they had. “What things?” asked the head doctor, the new Miss Blackwing told the doctor what had changed, the doctor did come tests.

“Don’t worry,” said the doctor, “you are still fit and fine, you’re just pregnant.”

Here we see Australian patient George X (Not his real initial) ready to undergo a radical experimental procedure that will rewrite almost every gene, chromosome and strand of DNA in his body.

His reason for undergoing this dangerous and untested method of eliciting change in the human body at it’s deepest level? George X has a rare and pernicious allergy to beer.

“Say no more,” said George, “put me under and do it!”

And so they did. The results were remarkable.

“So when do I get a case of Victoria Bitters? I was promised a free case after the procedure!”

They brought George one right away but served it with a straw while keeping the volunteer restrained while explaining some of the side effects the procedure had had on him.

“Oh stop complaining!” demanded George X’s wife Emily after George is released back into the wild in New South Wales “So you can’t get rotten with those yobbo mates of yours, me and my mates will take care of you, do it Sheila style.”

Kurt Ogley, Cable ghost-buster sensation, who didn’t believe in any of the non-sense he hyped, but sure made the big bucks off selling it to the suckers on his show Hunted House Cleaning was sure his producers latest find, a long-closed old building allegedly infested with powerful poltergeists that at one time had been The Woodbead School of Cosmetology and Psychiatric Hospital for the Criminal Insane was just rundown enough to really get the suckers at home going.

And things were going pretty good with the opening setup when somehow Kurt got lost down one of the long spooky hallways and had the weirdest walking daze overtake him as he looked for them.

But then he saw them, “where were you guys?” shouted Kurt, “Who the hell are you lady, this is a closed set!” said his producer.

Kurt’s crazy poltergeists makeover had been too good it seemed.

As the producer and the rest of the crew would be finding out as soon as the insane, but very talented supernatural creatures got hold of them and went to work.

That was the end of Hunted House Cleaning, but three months later Ogley and the rest were very optimistic about the chances for success of their new program.

Kerstin Ogley’s Now THAT’S what I call a HELL of a Makeover.

Running a high-end restaurant/club was no easy affair and that was just running the day-to-day things, in a big city like Boston that also meant dealing with organized crime, and over the years.

Joe “The Brick” Mattone, the owner and operator of The Stone Gate, had made peace with the Italian, Irish, and Russian mobs, along with the most powerful one of all that came out of City Hall.

Now it looked like he was going to have to deal yet another one. “What is this the Yakuza now?” he said on seeing his club covered in calligraphy based on the Japanese Kanji script.

Fortunately, for that night’s crowd, it turned out the yellow script was not painted but was instead yellow pollen that was easy to wash off. Getting that started Joe found something else; setting on the door handle was a little Origami figure that looked like a girl, unfolding it Joe read.

“Greetings most honored soon to be a most valued partner, please come to the address below at sunset so that we can arrange our future together and the future of The Stone Gate and all who work there.”

Signed your new friends the Warui mahō shōjo no hōhō

“Well, it’s not the Yakuza at least.” Said Joe deciding to the meeting to see what it was all about, but not by himself.

That evening he and his younger brother Teddy went to the address, a worn old wooden warehouse that like his club had calligraphy all over it, only in this case it was covering its doors, and walls.

Going up and ringing a bell next to a wire door, they heard the sound of a peppy tune sounding in the warehouse, which unknown to them was the theme of a popular Kawaii anime.

Soon the door opened and a young Japanese woman greeted them rapidly in excited English “Welcome soon to be Members, I am Chizuko of Warui mahō shōjo no hōhō, which in English is Bad Magic Girl Way.” She stops and giggles “But don’t worry, you can still be members, we can fix everything! We must have your club, it sets over a powerful junction of ley-lines so we need it very much”

“Yeah that sounds nice,” said Joe “but, no.” “Oh, we knew you would say that!” said Chizuko unlocking the door to the warehouse, “but we can show you things that will make you see what a good idea letting us change your Stone Gate Club will be, come this way and see.” Shrugging Joe said, “Sure, let’s see your show, let’s go.” Starting to go in gesturing to Teddy to follow. “No, only you, first Boss then others,” said Chizuko. “Don’t worry Ted,” said Joe “I’m pretty sure I can take care of myself.”

“Yes, Teddy Mattone, you can wait for your brother on the other side of the building, the exit door.” “Okay,” said Teddy seeing Joe give him a what could go wrong shrug “text if you need help.”

Leading Joe, Chizuko stepped into the warehouse, after Joe entered the door slammed shut.

Walking around the outside of the calligraphy-covered building, Teddy heard a succession of strange sounds coming from within. Bells, what sounded like giant bees buzzing, low rumbling, and once what sounded like muffled singing or chanting, and then the sound of a woman laughing, which coming through the walls must have been coming from a speaker thought Teddy.

Making it to the “exit door”, Teddy waited “ten minutes and I’m busting in there I don’t care what.” Thought the younger Mattone brother. Nine minutes later he got a text

“I understand EVERYTHING now, I’ll be coming out the door directly, don’t worry. J. R.”

The door opened and another Japanese woman stepped out “They were right little brother!” she said, “Going the Bad Magic Girl Way, is the only way!” “What the fu..” Teddy started to say when a rush of a dozen young women he had not seen took him from behind and bum-rushed him into the Warui mahō shōjo no hōhō Temple. He was about to put up what would no doubt have been an epic fight when he was put out by the force that was pulsing and contained within.

Having needed to reset to handle the life essence of a different person the transformation of Teddy took 15 minutes, and fit the new woman very well indeed.

That done the new sisters Jorii “The Renja” (brick) Renga, and Tatsuo “Little Dragon” Renga were reunited for the first time and headed back to The Stone Gate to start arranging for the changes that would need to be made.

The first thing, of course, was to get the staff through the warehouse where Ame no Uzume the Goddess of Mirth and Revelry was staying, that done then they could all really get to work opening the new Sonohyan-utaki Stone Gate Boston. It could be such a stuffy city at times, The Bad Magic Girl Way, led by new members Jorii and Tatsou, was sure they could help change that.

Even using Google Translate I’m still not sure what this is about.

(Source: mag.moe)

Darlene Lacroix couldn’t figure out what it was, but there was just something missing in her relationship with her boyfriend Douglas, he was there, but she could tell he wanted something else.

Unfortunately instead of saying “forget him!” she convinced herself she needed to change. This lead to her finding and making use of a magic object (at the best of times never a good idea) called the Medallion Verum Cupiditatem (real desire) which if you spoke the name of who you loved into it would change you so that you were that persons real secret deep desire.

Darlene thought that she would probably end up younger or with bigger boobs and derriere, longer legs maybe? Whatever it would be she spoke Douglas’s name and felt a tingle.

It didn’t take long for her to discover that Douglas it seemed was a secret grey-chaser with a thing for the GILF, and now she was one!.

The thing was, along with magical ageing Darlene also got a dose of magical wisdom, somehow gaining all the knowledge and experience she would have gotten if she had lived those years.

Her first thought was “to hell with Douglas!” followed by a decision that if she had been turned into his fantasy woman she would live that fantasy, just not for him. She would do it for herself.

That’s when she also decided that her little group of friends would be joining her, and she could do it because her change had given her an understanding of how to use the medallion as she liked.

The first friend she changed was pixie-like Kathy Bailey.

At first thinking she had encountered a crazy lady Kathy was about to make an excuse and call the police. Instead after a mystic glow, she said. “That sounds like fun! But first I have to go buy some hard candy Dearie”

Next, they found Marilyn Bennett the sex kitten of their group of friends, she changed, she still was as big a sexpot as before, now she was just more demanding about it.

Then came Barbara Kelly, their practical friend, it was amazing just how much more pragmatism a little seasoning could add to a person.

After that they found Naomi Dreyfus, “what is this witchcraft!” she asked drawing back, then in a twinkling, she was the one who looked more like a stereotypical witch. And would, in fact, be helping Darlene learn how to get more fun out of the Medallion Verum Cupiditatem.

The last find of the day was Carol Kellogg, not one of the group of friends, but Darlene’s greatest rival, who she felt she just could not leave out. With her perhaps she went a little further than the others. “What is this nonsense?” asked Carol, her voice now sounding oddly higher and raspy. And she would have said more, but she found she had to stop talking to deal with a new shiny set of dentures she had just been gifted with.

Leaving her the new Pride of Cougars moved off to get on the hunt, and raise some hex powered mischief.

I wish.

SNAFUS happen, even to someone like space jockey Captain Kurt Ernest Fort, the hero of the Rogue AI Roomba War, test pilot extraordinaire, and the most notorious ladies man in the Allied Earth Space Patrol.

Kurt’s mishap, however, was bad, leading him to completely destroy the AESP’s grand experimental quantum warp ship. Lucky for Capt. Fort our friends from Epsilon Lyrae V were observing the tests and were able to teleport out what little remained of the Space Ace.

They did the best they could reconstructing his body in the little time they had before it was too late.

The problem was the aliens from Epsilon Lyrae V just didn’t get humans so they used the only template they had for a human body, one based on the translator who helped them communicate with human’s when they had first arrived sixty years before, a talented young woman from Japan. Whom Captain Fort awoke to find him, now herself looking like.

With that AESP veteran Space Ace Kurt Fort found herself returning to HQ having been turned from a five foot ten inch, 43-year-old man into a 22-year-old Five-foot even woman.

The Space Patrol welcomed the Captain back, however, as they had already had a really elaborate well-received funeral for the “Space Hero for the Ages” they thought it best to not let known that aliens had saved Earth’s hero and she was not like they remembered.

Reduced in rank (after all he had blown up a damn expensive piece of equipment) and given a new identity the Space Patrol quietly put 2d Lt Kazumi Emiko Yōsai in the ranks.

Much to the former pilot’s chagrin, not only had they assigned her to a non-flying post, they had posted her as the fourth assistant to morale and civilian liaison on Space Station Alan Bean where the only thing she would be flying was a smile while meeting and greeting civilian groundlings. And the uniform the female members of that department had to wear!

“They really are unhappy about how much that spaceship cost.” thought Kazumi as she reported for duty.